Watch the Mojo

Hello Dear Readers and welcome to another installment of Eccentric Spheres.

OK, now that the formality is out of the way, we can relax.

Truth be told, I've had a day that's been as exhausting as it has been long. So today you get a very short post. In return, the subject matter can keep you entertained for hours.

I'm talking about WatchMojo.com's Youtube channel.

I have spent way too much time watching their Top 10 lists, partially because I really like Top 10 lists, but also due to the fact that they're so much fun. With subject matters such as music, games movies etc, I have on more than one occasion thought to myself “I'll just watch this one list”, followed by “Ooh, that one sounds cool” and finally “Bedtime already?”.

With just a quick look on Youtube we find:

Top 10Trailer better than the movie

Top 10Visually striking CGI films

Top 10 Mobmovie characters

Top 10Most hated songs

So jump head first into the vast ocean of great Top 10 lists. Just don't blame me when you loose three hours in a blink of an eye.

Have a great week, and I'll see you next week!

Don't take lessons from the Coyote

Last week we looked at criminals who were less than successful, mostly due to their own incompetence. Today, following the theme, we're looking at terrorists who didn't do any better.

Towards the end of the 19^th century, a young french anarchist (old timey terrorist) wanted to do something radical. Namely blow up the Greenwich Observatory in London. To that end he created a package full of explosives and took the bus to the observatory. So far so good. But you see, this was in February, and as the hapless anarchist crossed the park, he slipped and obliterated himself, some grass, and nothing else. Le this be a lesson about using overtly sensitive explosives. Insert your own pun about slippery slopes here.

As you are about to learn, terrorism is not for amateurs. In this case we have a group of beginners in England, who wanted to spark a race war by bombing a right wing rally and blaming some dark skinned people.

If this is your plan, you might want to make sure you turn up in time, which these six dorks didn't. They showed up just as the rally was over. They must have figured that killing the few people who were still there wasn't enough, so they drove back home. On their way home, a policeman happened to notice that their car didn't have an insurance sticker, so he stopped them, and found a carload of items the wanna-bes just couldn't explain away. Go straight to jail, do not pass go.

In the Philippine capital Manila stands the Thomas Jefferson Cultural Center. In 1991 a couple of terrorists with more dedication than know-how decided to blow the place up. You know, to show America something. I'm not sure what.

They carefully crafted their bomb at home and approached the center under the cover of darkness. One of them stood watch while the other took the bomb to the outer wall. Then he proceeded to arm the bomb in the glow of a cigarette lighter! Yes, he lit an open flame next to a bomb. But stupid as that is, that was not his undoing. You see, when he activated the bomb, the display cheerfully said h then E followed by 5. It was probably at this point the moron realized the bomb was upside down. One second later the lookout was showered in little bits of terrorist. Shell shocked and drenched in blood, the second bomber was taken to the hospital by a passing taxi driver, where it took the police no time at all to piece the story together. I doubt they managed to piece the first bomber back together again. In the end the center was largely undamaged, though rather dirty.

Finally we're traveling to Scotland. To the Glasgow International Airport to be exact. Now an airport is a valid target if you're the sort of bastard who wants to sow chaos. In this case there were two such bastards. Luckily they were as clumsy and inattentive as their colleagues above.

The plan was to load a car up with explosives, an then ram it through the airport front doors and detonate. Major chaos all around.

Well, the best laid plans and all that, because they managed to get their first car bomb towed...

Spurred by this setback they got a new car and loaded it with a bunch of propane tanks. They then gunned the engine to 30 mph (48kph) and promptly crashed. Had they actually bothered to visit the airport, they would have known that the entrance is surrounded by steel posts a.k.a. security bollards. They posts weren't even hard to see as they are wrapped in bright yellow plastic.

As the car crashed, the propane tanks did explode but nowhere near as dramatically as the duo had hoped. One of them jumped out and tried to punch the police (predictable results ensued) while the other one, now on fire got kicked in the nuts by a bystander so hard the guy broke his foot!

That's it folks, have a safe week!

It just doesn't pay

If you've spent any length of time on the internet, you might have run into the story of McArthur Wheeler, even if you don't recognize his name. He's the guy who covered his face with lemon juice, thinking it would render his face invisible to cameras. Then he robbed a bank. You can guess the rest...

That's the subject of today's post. Dumb, er, reality challenged criminals.

We start with the nineteen criminals who got arrested thinking they had won free beer. The police in Derbyshire sent out “winning tickets” from a false company and promptly arrested the wanted men when they happily marched through the door looking for their prize beverages.

Next up is young Ruben Zarate who tried to think creatively. He wanted to rob a muffler shop in Chicago, but the safe was locked and only the manager, who was away at the time, could open it. So what did Mr. Zarate do? He gave the cashier his phone number so that they could call him when the manager was available, and he would be able to proceed with the robbery. As you probably deduced by now, Rubens criminal career was cut very short, very quickly.

If you're in need of a getaway vehicle, you might want to consider several aspects. Speed, notability and reliability being, perhaps, the most important. A Colombian crime crew considered none of these when they stole a donkey as their vehicle of choice.

They successfully robbed a convenience store, but the getaway donkey decided not only to remain stubbornly immobile, but it made such a racket, the robbers fled on foot leaving their ill-gotten gains behind.

We continue our cavalcade of clumsy criminals with Albert Bailey and his unnamed friend. The duo wanted to be as effective as they possibly could. These geniuses called the bank ahead of time, so that the employees could gather up the 100.000 dollars they wanted in advance. When they arrived they only got $100, but decided to be happy with what they got. Then they walked into the welcoming arms of the police.

Having trust in your fellow man is fine, but you can't expect people to be honest with your crime.

Sticking with the theme of bank robbery, we have the man (name unknown) who accidentally gave the teller his gun instead of his bag when he had demanded £700.000. He did get away and even managed to steal a bike on the way. This makes him the most successful criminal on today's list.

But how about the deaf German bank robber who couldn't hear the alarm? Well, unsurprisingly he was arrested, but he then tried to sue the bank for exploiting his handicap. That's right, never give up.

We're ending our batch of bad guys (why am I so alliterative today?) with Darren Kimpton. He had already tried to burgle a house, but he cut himself on some glass, and decided to try his luck at a second location. Unfortunately for Mr. Kimpton, the house in question had already been burgled that night by someone more qualified. Of course dear Darren couldn't have known that, but he really shouldn't have burgled a house with the police still in it! He was sent down for both burglaries.

That's what I have for you today. See you next week, and stay legal.

KKK

It's a safe bet that you've all heard of the KKK, or the Ku Klux Klan. The name conjures up images of intolerant men in white sheets, and pointed hoods lighting crosses on fire.

But there are strange and curious facts hidden in the Klan's history, and today we're going to peek under the sheet at some of them.

The Klan was originally founded just before the end of the American Civil War, but it almost died out after just a few years. It then popped back up in 1915 with the film The Birth of a Nation, when it had between two and six million members. And it wasn't just black people they hated. They also tried to get rid of Jews, Catholics and alcohol for some reason.

By the 1930's membership had again petered out into almost nothing until the civil rights movement started.

Today it's difficult to estimate how many Klansmen there are, since it's not one organization, but rather a loose coalition of Klans spread across America. In 2012 it was estimated that they were between 5000 and 8000 members strong. Membership is risky though since they are officially a hate group, and as such are under permanent FBI scrutiny.

In 1958, the Klan started a campaign of terror in Robeson County, North Carolina.

The reason? Well it's the home of the Native American tribe of Lumbee. And one of them dared to date a white woman. Another family had moved into a white neighborhood. So the Klan rolled in and did the whole burning cross thing. Then, later the same month they held a rally with about a hundred dedicated Klansmen.

The problem? A large crowd of angry Lumbee men that outnumbered them considerably. After a short and rather brutal fight, Grand Dragon James “Catfish” Cole fled in terror, taking his his “brave white knights” with him. I guess the Catfish didn't want to become a Custer...

Since that January day in 1958, the Klan has been suspiciously absent from Robeson County.

In 1965, the Klan suffered an intense (and hilarious) humiliation, due to the Grand Wizard of New York, Dan Burros.

Mr. Burros was thrown out from the Army in 1955 after three suicide attempts, one of which was accompanied by a suicide note praising Hitler. After his discharge he joined the American Nazi Party (bet you didn't know they had one of those), and later the Klan. However, in 1965, John McCandlish Philips Jr, a journalist for the New York Times, proved that Dan Burros was in fact Jewish. Ouch. He was tossed out right quickly.

During the 1980's the Klan had a very dangerous member, Frazier Glenn Miller Jr. Glenn had two decades worth of military experience, out of which 13 was as a Green Beret. He organized and planned assassinations (which were never carried out), but in 1987 he was arrested in the back seat of his car with a male black prostitute in drag. Yeah, so much for idealism.

In 1994, the Klan wanted to adopt a stretch of highway in Missouri. In case you're not familiar with the concept, it means the adopting group is responsible for maintaining the stretch in question, and in return they get some publicity.

Anyway, the state officials told the Klan to get lost, and they in turn went to court over the matter. A District Judge decided that the Klan had a constitutional right to adopt said piece of highway, and the Klan celebrated. Until the state officials named the road The Rosa Parks Highway, that is.

The Klan never picked up a single piece of litter, and later claimed they didn't have to, since the guy who signed the official document was no longer a member.

Finally I had a good laugh when I read that the KKK has officially condemned the Westboro Baptist Church for being a hate group. Yeah, if the most go-to example of a hate group in the Western Hemisphere thinks you are being too hateful, maybe you ought to rethink your agenda a little bit.

Hope you have a great week, and I'll see you next Monday!