Silent Action

I jumped back into the shadowy world of Poliziotteschi movies, this time with Silent Action (1975). The original title is La polizia accusa: il Servizio Segreto uccide, which means; the police accuses, the secret service kills.

The story starts with some arranged suicide/accidents followed by the murder of a master electrician who lives way above his means in a nice big house. The man in charge, Inspector Solmi smells a rat and he's right. A fairly normal murder investigation turns into a maze of conspiracies that includes murdered army officers, oil barons, the secret service, more murders, kidnappings and more. As usual, I won't spoil anything but there are enough twists and turns to satisfy anyone as long as you can follow the plot, which is a little bit tricky.

When Silent Action is good it is great but it has a few problems. On the good side we have solid actors, an interesting plot, an amazing car chase, some snappy dialogue and an overall great atmosphere. It is also fun watch an Italian thriller that isn't centered around the Mafia.

On the bad side we have several odd plot holes, some strangely clumsy foot chases, some needlessly convoluted plans by the bad guys and a truly unfortunate haircut.

The biggest problem is the runtime of the movie. Even though it is an hour and 48 minutes long, conspiracy stories take time to tell properly. A secondary smaller problem is that one really need a fair grasp of Italy at the time. Between fascists, communists, the mafia and corporate interests, Italy was a corrupt mess and it must have taken balls of steel to be an honest cop back then. Fascinating stuff though.

As I mentioned in my post about The Boss (1973) this story really needs a short TV series to really work. I really wish that someone at HBO or Netflix would take a look at some of these wonderful Italian movies and make a True Detective style show. One where every season is a separate story. Then you could get these things done properly.

As it it, Silent Action is a mixed bag for me. A fan of the genre or the time period should watch it, but I think most casual viewers might get bored. The ending is in my opinion the weakest part of the movie, even though it wasn't bad in any way. I don't know if they ran out of time or money, but it needed something extra, and it didn't get it.

Do I recommend it? Yes, with a maybe, as stated above. I enjoyed myself but was left wanting more.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!

Fantastic or Realistic?

Fantasy is a great genre and the perhaps most defining feature of fantasy is that it doesn't have to be realistic. The clue is in the name after all. As long as the fantasy is immersive enough and consistent with its own internal rules, realism can go hang.

That said, I find it incredibly entertaining to poke holes in fantasy to see what is and isn't actually possible. Obviously magic isn't real nor are flying, fire-breathing dragons, but what about shooting a bow from the branches of a tree? What about the old trope of tying a rope to an arrow and shooting it in order to shimmy across a chasm? How much money can an adventurer really carry? I'm not the person to ask, but I know who is; Shadiversity on Youtube.

He has indeed tested these small but interesting tropes and I figured you might want to know the answers. So without further ado, I present to you three answers to three questions.

Arrow and rope:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv0a1m6gIAo

Shooting from a tree:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YCx9byRQKA

How many gold coins can you carry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PmXf9oiNqU

I'll embed them below as well, for your convenience. That's that and all that. Until next time, have a great and safe week! 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

The verdict is in.

 

The Apple vs. Epic trial is over and the verdict is in.

In case you don't remember, Epic Games decided that they wanted to keep all the Fortnite money they make on iOS for themselves instead of paying a portion (30%) to Apple. So, they broke the contract they had signed, got booted off the platform and then sued Apple in court.

During the whole trial, Epic tried to portray themselves as Robin Hood. They played up the narrative that they were taking on the evil monolith on behalf of the little guys. Claims that were completely demolished in court. The court papers proved that Epic was in it for themselves and no one else. The only upside for them at the time, was that the judge decided that Apple had to reinstate Fortnite on the iOS, although with no further updates and no cross-play. Right now it seems that the iOS version is five seasons behind and is hemorrhaging players.

So just the other day, U.S. District Court Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers handed down the verdict. In the interest of transparency, I have not read the several hundred pages of legalese, I'm relying on what news outlets are reporting.

In a nutshell, Apple is now forced to allow app makers to inform their users about alternative payment methods and they have 90 days to implement this. Opinions are divided on whether they have to allow links or buttons that take people there, or if it is only information. Interestingly enough, this has never been that big of a deal. You could always, for example, subscribe to Netflix on your PC and then log into Netflix on your iPhone and Apple would get nothing. So this isn't that big of a deal.

Epic on the other hand has to pay Apple $12 million. Not that much for either company but there is more. The court has decided that Epic really did break the contract, so Apple can boot them off their platform permanently if they choose to do so. Due to the fact that Epic has also sued Google, Fortnite is also booted from the Play Store. They also failed to get their own exclusive store on the Apple platform which they wanted. They got nothing except a big bill.

Judge Rogers also stated that if Epic had simply reported Apple for suspected Anti-Trust violations, they would likely have won and there would have been nothing Apple could have done, but because of their contract breaking, manipulative videos, and other histrionics, they lost and are now in a bad position.

Of course, Epic has stated that they intend to appeal, but what good that could do, I have no idea. Just before posting I saw an article on The Verge and Epic has appealed.  This case already pulled all of Epic's dirty laundry out of the closet (and there was so much) so what they hope to gain from an appeal is beyond me.

Finally it seems that several news outlets are reporting this as either Apple losing or Epic winning. PC Gamer reported this as a big win for Epic, but then again, they have been sponsored by Epic on several occasions before... Do the math. Ultimately both companies lost, which is usually what happens when someone sets a fire and throws the extinguisher out the window.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!

Houses of Doom: Wake me up when it's over.

 We are in the final stretch of the Houses of Doom quartet. We're finishing with Umberto Lenzi's House of Witchcraft (1989).

This time Lenzi directed and wrote the screenplay on the story by Gianfranco Clerici and Daniele Stroppa so I don't know who to blame for this lackluster snoozer.

The film begins with the main protagonist Luke running from someone or something with the sound of baying dogs in the background. He comes to a villa and enters it. A sound draws him to the kitchen where a hideous old crone is stirring a cauldron. She beckons him closer before lifting up his own severed head and throwing it in the pot. She cackles and he wakes up in a sweat.

It turns out that Luke had a nervous breakdown and is recuperating in hospital were his widowed sister in law Elsa looks after him. She's a shrink, not that it matters much. We find out that Luke is unhappily married to Martha who is “completely obsessed with the occult”.

Upon his release from the hospital the next day, Martha insists that they give their failing marriage one more shot by going to a villa she has rented. Can you see where this is going? I could.

It is of course the villa from his dream... Original, right?

They meet the blind owner who is living there as well, and he informs them that his niece Sharon will join them soon. Weird arrangement for renting a place if you ask me.

That night Luke sees the crone beating a priest to death in the garden, and he reacts by calling Elsa to come down and help him solve the “mystery”. Elsa does so and brings her teenage daughter Maria along.

Still with me? Okay, so strange things start happening and now and then the crone pops up and murders someone. In between this, Martha either walks around in a trance or then flat out tries to run over Sharon with her car. This is never mentioned again... Other happenings in this vein are sprinkled throughout the movie pretending that it means something, but it never does.

I'll not spoil the ending, but it made no sense. Given the name of the movie I don't think it's much of a spoiler to say there is a witch and she is evil. That's it, that's why lots of people got killed. If there was some other motive I completely missed it. It's evil for the sake of evil.

From a technical point, this is a pretty well made movie. The cinematography is good, and the soundtrack is on par for the late 80's. There is even a nice car stunt that has no relevance to the plot, but it was cool. The actors aren't bad, but the lousy dubbing kind of makes it hard to be sure.

No, it is the story that is the main failure here. The setup is based on having a mystery but they don't really do anything with it, it just solves itself almost by default. They make a lame attempt to show some “investigation” but everyone just makes assumptions and calls it evidence. The rest is loose elements of horror spread around to remind you that you are watching a horror movie. A snake appears, flowers drip blood for some reason, there is a blizzard in a cellar... Okay, the effects are decent, but the over all structure is pointless. I could understand the awful lack of a plot if House of Witchcraft was a gore and nudity filled shocker, but there is barely any blood and only one small scene with mild nudity so that isn't it either. Ultimately it's just boring.

Do I recommend this movie? No, not really. It isn't awful like Sweet House of Horror but it is dull, uninspired and boring, things a horror movie should never be. It's like an unfunny comedy.

Summary of the Houses of Doom:

House of Clocks – Good, worth a watch.

Sweet House of Horror – Awful, never watch.

House of Lost Souls – Good, worth a watch.

House of Witchcraft – Bad, just don't bother.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!