The forces of Evil needs a strategy consultant.

Warning: The following post contains spoilers for two movies that are over thirty years old, so if you haven't seen them by now, too bad.

Inspired by last weeks post, I decided to re-visit the two original Omen films. That's when it struck me: the forces of Satan are incredibly inept at planning!

The entire point of the first Omen, and partly the second one as well, is to ensure that Damien is placed in a position of temporal power. After all, it's no good having the Antichrist work in a roman pizzeria his whole life. His adopted father is Robert Thorn, the U.S. Ambassador to Great Britain, who is a personal friend of the President. The Thorn family is also stupidly wealthy, so all in all, a good choice for the son of Satan, right?

So what does the forces of darkness do? They kill anyone who stands in the way of their plans in the most over the top, and suspicious manner possible, usually involving a raven or a rottweiler. And not just people who are in the way either. They work very hard to kill as many people as possible. Maybe there's some kind of murder quota they have to fill?

The nanny hangs her self in full view of an entire party just so that the next nanny can be a servant of darkness. Why not just get the old nanny fired, or run her over with a bus? We have seen they can do that with empty trains.

They kill Damiens mother, Katherine Thorn, driving Robert over the edge. In the final climax, the police shoots Robert only seconds before he would have killed Damien. And killed him properly at that.

It seems they do everything they can to expose the truth about Damien, for some unknown reason, instead of keeping him a secret.

In Damien: Omen II, the forces of evil have become a bit more subtle, but they are still jumping the gun, if not the shark.

What are the expecting to accomplish by killing everyone (again) when Damien is still so incredibly young? There is no way he can seize control of either Thorn Industries or gain any political power when he's just thirteen. All they are in fact doing is making him stand out and make people notice him for no reason. Particularly when all the people who know the truth are rambling, shouting religious lunatics, that no one takes seriously anyway. They keep barging in on people, yelling about accepting Christ it to their hearts, not that it helps, since they are immediately murdered. The sole reason they gain any credibility is because of the strange happenings surrounding Damien in the first place.

One could argue that they are working hard to ensure that Damien is surrounded by loyal advisers, but he's the Antichrist! How are they going to deny him anything, when they kill anyone he feels any respect for? Remember, Damien finds out who he is when he's thirteen years old. A teenager from a rich family can be a hand full as it is, without being the son of the devil as well.

Much smarter to keep him in the stable home he had, and once he's ready, unleash his power, right?

Don't get me wrong, I love these movies, but the staggering stupidity of the plan is sometimes a bit much.

Oh, and one final thing. Don't ever name your kid Damien. What else can you expect to happen?