Seven Blood-Stained Orchids.

Last night I decided to finally watch:

Seven Blood-Stained Orchids (1972).

When someone makes a movie in a particular genre they have to make a choice whether to color within the lines or to go wild. Veteran director Umberto Lenzi stays within the lines in this Giallo, but that is not a bad thing.

We get the bog standard Giallo killer, complete with trench coat, hat and leather gloves, all in black of course. The killer is on a murdering spree against a specific group of women, and since the police are as useless as always in these movies, it is up to fashion designer Mario Gerosa (Antonio Sabato) to solve the mystery. In typical Giallo fashion, Mario hunts the killer alone and unarmed, as they always do for some reason. I mean, at least carry a pocket knife?

I have seen a handful of Lenzi's movies and they have ranged from quite good to pretty awful, so it was with some hesitation that I gave Seven Blood-Stained Orchids a go, but luckily this is one of the good ones. Most of the actors are veterans as well, many were familiar faces from Italian cinema, and it never hurts to work with seasoned professionals.

The sound was actually good. A lot of the music is the standard jazz of the era, but when the killer is on the prowl, it is genuinely pretty creepy. The cinematography is nothing special, but like with most things concerning this movie, it is good enough.

The standout in Seven Blood-Stained Orchids is the main plot. It is a good investigative mystery, and it doesn't cheat. On top of that, the mystery genuinely drew me in, I had to know what was happening. The clues are interesting and Mario is a good and clever main hero. I didn't know Italian fashion designers had detective training, but in Mario's case, he clearly does.

The killer is smart, daring and ruthless, even intentionally cruel at times. Killing isn't enough, the victims need to feel fear first, which heightens the tension for the viewer. I wasn't able to solve the mystery until Mario does, but that's okay, I like it when I can figure it out, but it's not necessary.

There is some nudity in Seven Blood-Stained Orchids, but nothing too sleazy, all the nudity makes perfect sense. Most kills are half off camera, but there are a couple that aren't and one in particular is very gruesome, so be warned. Then again, if you are interested in Gialli, this kind of stuff probably won't bother you too much anyway.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes, without a doubt. There are a few Gialli that I'd rank as good beginner movies and Seven Blood-Stained Orchids is one of them. It's nowhere near one of the best, but because Lenzi chose to color within the lines, he made a stylish and solid Giallo. Well worth seeing.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Nine Guests for a Crime

I've been wanting to get back to the Giallo genre for a while, so yesterday I watched:

Nine Guests for a Crime (1977).

The plot is simple. We begin by witnessing a group of men brutally gunning down a young man and burying him on a beach. Then we meet a family sailing to a villa on an island. The patriarch, the wealthy Uberto, and his young wife Giulia. There are Uberto's three children; Lorenzo, Michele and Patrizia, and their spouses; Greta, Carla and Walter. The ninth member of the party is Uberto's sister Elisabetta.

We learn instantly that there is bad blood between Lorenzo and Michele, their relationship has been troubled since childhood. Patrizia has visions and everyone thinks she's crazy. On top of everything else, everyone is sleeping with everyone else, sending the tension up through the roof. There is so much hate, bitterness and resentment in the party that it is a miracle they are capable of even looking at each other. Soon enough a mysterious killer starts picking them off one by one in the usual Giallo fashion.

Nine Guests for a Crime (great title by the way) has a lot in common with Five Dolls for an August Moon (1970), with a similar luxurious house on an isolated island and a mysterious killer on the loose. Nine Guests is however a more solid movie than Dolls, even though it lacks Mario Bava's elegant touch.

Nine Guests is directed by Ferdinando Baldi, a veteran director and I think that experience shows in a good way. The actors are likewise an experienced bunch, I have no complaints. The music is fine for what it is and there are some, but not many, fantastic camera shots.

The biggest problem is the dialogue. Like every other Italian movie of the time, it was dubbed in post, but I don't know why it is so mismatched with what is going on. At one point one of the women is drowning, but she is known for her practical and tasteless jokes so no one is too alarmed at first. Uberto realizes she's actually in trouble and snarls at his sons “Don't just stand there, go help her”, to which the reply is: “Yeah, you're right”, in the most laconic tone of voice. It's like Uberto had said “No, you're wrong, we had pizza on Tuesday, not Monday”, and the answer is “Yeah, you're right”. Same tone of voice. There are several instances of this weirdly mismatched tone, but to be honest that is my biggest and essentially only complaint.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes, absolutely. For being a low budget Giallo, Nine Guests for a Crime is smartly written and well put together. It doesn't try to reinvent the wheel, and they respect the viewer enough not to cheat, even though there are a couple of minor details I'd have liked to have been given. I think Nine Guests is a good beginner Giallo if you are a bit on the sensitive side. There is nothing straight up sleazy going on and the murders are pretty, but not completely, bloodless. I'd say it goes closer to a “normal” thriller than most Gialli, but it is still and unmistakable member of the Giallo Family. I had a really good time, and I think you might as well.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

They put a WHAT in it?

Once in a while, you come across something that straddles the border between madness and genius. 

What I have for you today is a car with the Merlin engine from a Spitfire! A WWII fighter engine in a car is inspired, but what it is inspired by, is anyone's guess.

When I saw the guys trying to start the car, which by the way requires a checklist, I realized that practically no one could steal that car, it is that complicated to start. It is also ear splitting loud. So enjoy this video, it is something else.

That's that and all that. Join me again nest time and until then, have a great week!

   

 

  

The truth is out there

 For centuries, people have been obsessing over the Roanoke mystery.

In short, in  1585 Sir Walther Raleigh created a colony in Roanoke in what is today North Carolina. He returned to England for supplies but when he came back, the entire colony was missing. The buildings were there, but every man, woman and child were gone with no sign of battle or struggle. On a post someone had carved the word "Croatan".

Since then the mystery has endured. People from historians to horror writers have puzzled, speculated and dreamed about what happened, but now we finally know. 

Below is a really interesting documentary about this mystery, I highly recommend it.

Direct Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY7sYjSDT2I

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week.  

Billion Dollar Brain

Following on the last couple of weeks, I watched the third and final Harry Palmer movie:

Billion Dollar Brain (1967).

In this movie, Harry (Michael Caine) is tasked with infiltrating a mysterious organization that wants to overthrow communism. The trouble is, this might start WWIII. Harry goes to Finland, where he meets an old acquaintance Leo Newbigen (Karl Malden). Leo is well placed in the organization and recruits Harry. They also visit Riga and eventually Texas. Action, espionage and danger lurks around every corner. I'm avoiding spoilers again.

The very first thing I noticed is that the intro sequence has a very strong James Bond style. Caine was actually worried that he'd be trapped in the Palmer role like how his good friend Sean Connery was with Bond. I haven't read the book yet, but the movie's plot has a very strong Bond feel as well. In fact, the main villain is like a Bond villain if that villain had completely lost his mind. It is seriously a bonkers plan.

As a native Finn, it was seriously cool to see how my home town of Helsinki looked a decade before my birth. So similar and yet so very different. Harry walks past places where, as a kid I played, and visits locations I know very well. For some reason they chose to film certain scenes in Turku Castle, and considering Turku is 168 km west of Helsinki, that is a bit odd. There was nothing about the scenes that even required a castle...

When Harry visits Riga, they shot in the Finnish city of Porvoo, located some 50 km east of Helsinki. This is understandable since in the 60's Riga was actually in the Soviet Union and filming there would have been impossible. I just have no idea why they chose to pretend that Turku Castle was in Helsinki.

Overall, Billion Dollar Brain is an okay movie, the recurring characters are played by the original actors which is always nice. The other actors are good as usual, even veteran actor Ed Begley who chews the scenery so hard its a miracle he didn't lose his teeth in the process. I guess you have to do that if you're playing a fanatic with megalomania.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes and no. If you want to complete the Harry Palmer trilogy or see what Finland looked like in '67, then sure. Billion Dollar Brain is not a bad movie, it is just not very good either. It was directed by a very unwilling Ken Russel and it shows. The balance is off, the plot is ridiculous, (though that may be the fault of the book), and I get the feeling the plot didn't even need Harry to begin with. Not great not bad, just kind of in the middle mediocre. I'm glad I watched it, but the two previous movies particularly Funeral in Berlin are so much better.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Funeral in Berlin

Continuing from last week, I watched:

Funeral in Berlin (1966).

Harry Palmer (Michael Caine) returns and this time he's sent to Berlin to vet KGB Colonel Stok (Oscar Homolka) who intends to defect to the west. Always a tricky situation, since he has to find out if the defection is genuine, and if it is, he needs to make it happen. In Berlin he connects with his old friend Johnny Vulkan (Paul Hubschmid). It was Vulkan Harry schemed with when he got arrested and sent to prison and then to the intelligence service. Soon enough he also meets the beautiful Samantha Steel (Eva Renzi), and the game becomes a great deal more difficult, not to mention dangerous.

Funeral in Berlin is directed by Guy Hamilton, who amongst many other movies has directed four James Bond films. In 1966 he had only directed Goldfinger, although Funeral in Berlin was his 13^th movie overall.

Where I found The Ipcress File to be good but flawed, Funeral in Berlin is a stone cold spy thriller. You can feel Hamilton's touch and it feels good. Palmer is essentially the same free-wheeling smart mouth he was in Ipcress, but he feels a bit harder and more cynical, though not in a bad way. The other actors are all solid, but apparently Eva Renzi was incredibly difficult to work with. She was rude to Caine and argued constantly with Hamilton, even telling him how to light her. This did no favors for her career, and although it was far from ruined she earned the title “difficult to work with” which can sink an actors career surprisingly fast.

As I'm writing this, I'm trying to remember the soundtrack, but I can't. I firmly blame the excellent story and the atmosphere that at tines is thick enough to cut with a knife. Even scenes that are apparently unimportant feel really tense. The Cold War paranoia really is omnipresent.

In order to avoid spoilers I won't mention any plot details beyond what I have already done, but I want to point out that at times the story is a bit hard to follow. It all makes sense in the end, but there are a lot of moving parts and unless you're really paying attention you might get a bit lost. This is the kind of critique I never know how to feel about. On the one hand, it is a good thing if the audience can follow the story without taking notes, but on the other hand I like a convoluted story that doesn't hold my hand and over explains everything. Suffice to say that Funeral in Berlin is somewhere in the middle I suppose.

So, do I recommend this movie? Absolutely! If you have any interest in spy thrillers Funeral in Berlin is a must watch. It has its flaws but overall it is an excellent movie that is well shot, well directed and a top shelf pick in its genre. They even shot scenes at the actual Check Point Charlie! How's that for realism?

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have great week!

 

The Ipcress File

Ever since I got into consuming spy media, I've been meaning to watch:

The Ipcress File (1965),

and last night I finally got around to doing so.

Based on the debut spy novel by Len Deighton, this British spy thriller is directed by Sidney J. Furie and stars Michael Caine, Nigel Green, Guy Doleman, Sue Lloyd, Gordon Jackson, Frank Gatliff and many more.

We meet Harry Palmer (Caine), an army sergeant who got into legal trouble in Germany but instead of prison was recruited by what I'm guessing is SIS (it isn't mentioned outright). He's a bit of a rogue, has a glib mouth and a tendency to do what he wants. Although this is the 60's so he's actually pretty polite by modern standards. I'm sure it was shocking back then.

An important scientist is kidnapped and it is up to Palmer's unit to find him. Since Palmer is, let's say unconventional, he gets results that quickly spiral out of control and everything heads towards a dramatic climax. That's as far as I can go without spoiling anything.

I'm not very used to 60's cinema, I generally prefer the 70's, but The Ipcress File is good. Low budget to be sure, but they did a lot with what they had. Being British, this isn't a roaring action movie, it's much more subtle than that. What I found interesting is that there isn't really much of a motivation for the bad guys, nothing overtly explained at least.

Michael Caine is brilliant as always, and the rest of the cast is good. Lots of familiar faces for those that watch older British TV and movies. The soundtrack is likewise nice and the cinematography is excellent. I keep saying it, but older movies were shot so much better than modern ones.

There are a couple of interesting facts about this movie I want to share:

The main character in the novel isn't named so Caine & Co had to come up with a name. The producer Harry Salzman and Caine agreed that Harry is a boring name and Caine went to school with a Tommy Palmer who was also apparently boring so the name Harry Palmer was born.

Harry wears glasses which was unusual for a tough guy back then, and he's also an accomplished cook. These two facts together made the movie hard to distribute in the US. It seemed distributors were worried the American audiences would think Harry was gay. For wearing glasses and cooking. Different era indeed, especially since Harry is a real skirt chaser.

The director and the producer fought constantly, to the point where Caine and Salzman had to jump in a Rolls-Royce to chase down a bus. Furie had stormed off and gotten on that bus, and they desperately needed him back.

So, do I recommend this movie? Oh yes! It is a bit dated but in a fun way. It's not quite up to the quality of Tinker Tailor, but what spy drama is? The Ipcress File does what it does with style, and I look forward to checking out the other movies in the Harry Palmer series.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

So that happened...

It's been a while since the last time we did weird trivia, so here we go:

In 1876, in Olympia Springs, Kentucky it rained strips of meat one day. There has never been a good explanation a to why it rained mystery meat, but some suspect a large flock of vultures may have gorged themselves and then vomited, which they do when they feel threatened. I don't know what is better, meat rain or vulture vomit...

Everyone knows that sport riots can cause huge damages both to people and buildings, but they are not a new phenomenon. In AD 532 a riot erupted in then Constantinople over a combination of politics and chariot racing which was super popular. This riot apparently claimed 30.000 lives and destroyed a large part of the city including the Hagia Sophia. Emperor Justinian had to deploy thousands of imperial soldiers to put a stop to the madness.

In 1932 during the Great Depression, Australian farmers grew more wheat to make ends meet, which had the unforeseen side effect of attracting hungry emus. The abundance of food made the emus breed more and soon there were huge flocks of these large birds roaming around attacking farms. An emu is pretty big and they can be dangerous. On top of that, their thick dense feathers are hard to penetrate with small arms, so the farmers asked the government for help. Soldiers were deployed and the Emu War had begun. A war Australia lost. Good thing they were emus and not cassowaries.

In July of 1518 a strange event started in Strasburg, Germany. People started dancing uncontrollably in the streets. They apparently could not stop and several died from stroke or exhaustion. Theories range from the infamous ergot poisoning to mass hysteria, but to this day no one knows why people danced themselves to death.

To be named Time Magazine Man of the Year, one has to do something that makes a huge impact. However this impact is essentially neutral, in that it doesn't have to be a positive or negative impact. This is why in 1938, Hitler was made Man of the Year. This in itself is well known, but did you know that in 1939 he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize? The nomination was made by a Swedish member of parliament, and was intended as a satirical critique. Whether that was true or not, the nomination was canceled within a few days.

From dancing to laughing. In 1962 at the University of Tanganyika in Tanzania, three girls suddenly started laughing and they couldn't stop. This strange madness spread to over a thousand students and the university had to close for several months. The theory of mass hysteria was again suggested but no one knows for sure.

Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France, conqueror of Europe was defeated not only by Wellington but also by rabbits. In 1807, Napoleon wanted to celebrate the peace between France and Russia with a massive rabbit hunt. He acquired 3000 rabbits which were set loose, but the hungry rabbits attacked the people and jumped all over them looking for food, leading to the desperate retreat of the Master of France.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time, and until then, have a great week!

 

Listen carefully.

Being a life long fan of Warhammer 40.000, I was interested to learn about a story called:

The Watcher in the Rain.

But I hit a snag. The Watcher in the Rain is an audiodrama only, it doesn't exist in written form. I became determined to listen to it so I went hunting.

You can get it from Games Workshop directly, but paying over €10 for a 75 minute drama felt a bit steep. It's not like an album that you can listen to several times a day if you want to, an audiodrama is a book, you might want to revisit it from time to time, but not as often as music.

Then I found it on Audible (not a sponsor), Amazon's audio book platform, and to my delight you can sign up for £0.99 and you get a credit with which I got The Watcher in the Rain. 

I had heard a couple of audiodramas 15+ years ago, dramatizations of a couple of Lovecraft stories,which were excellent.

The main differences between an audiodrama and an audiobook are sounds effects and multiple voices. An audiobook is normally read by one person, but an audiodrama has different people for all characters and the aforementioned sound effects. This creates a wonderful atmosphere that enhances the experience beyond mere narration.

So, I sat down, put on my headphones and enjoyed The Watcher in the Rain. I'm not going to go into detail about the story as such, it deserves to be experienced as it is, I'll only say that it was excellent both in writing and performances. If you like Warhammer 40.000 I highly recommend it. 

This experience has also rekindled my interest in audiodramas in general, and I'm going to go hunting for more. They were all the rage back before TV became a thing as something people could enjoy at home on the radio instead of going to the cinema, and they work well when playing a game that doesn't require too much audio, like World of Warcraft.

 

That's that and all that. Join me again nest time, and until then, have a great week!  

Top of the world, Ma!

I watched a video about movies Clint Eastwood loves and hates, and on that recommendation I watched:

White Heat (1949).

Directed by Raoul Walsh and starring James Cagney in the main role, White Heat is a black and white gangster thriller that never lets up.

Cody Jarrett, a veteran gangster and his gang commit a robbery that turns deadly. The feds are after him, but he is no one's fool, and supported by his devoted mother, has a plan. The feds manage to get an undercover specialist in Cody's gang to help corner the vicious and wily criminal, but Cody is not a man to go down the easy way.

White Heat is 114 minutes, but it felt like an hour. It didn't get boring for a minute even though there aren't that many scenes one would label as action. The tension is thick in scene after scene but it has balance and you also don't get overloaded.

Central to the movie is Cody himself. Devoted to his mother, a sufferer of brutal headaches and a man who'll gun down anyone who gets in his way, he is nevertheless a likable character somehow. He is a tormented soul which garners sympathy at the same time that his cruelty and careless attitude towards others makes you wish for his downfall.

The rest of the characters are good, in fact we have a surprising lack of cliches, but they all hang in orbit around Cody. From feds to gangsters, they all dance to Cody's tune one way or another.

The plot is excellent, White Heat is a really clever movie, even though the dialogue is nothing special. You have to remember that movies were made very differently back in those days. We're a long way from Tarantino's non stop clever conversations. In films like White Heat the dialogue is utilitarian, not necessarily witty, although there were a couple of good lines. The obvious one is “Made it, Ma! Top of the world!” which has become legendary, but “You wouldn't kill me in cold blood, would ya?” “No, I'll let you warm up a little.” is really good.

The cinematography is top notch. The whole movie is wonderful to look at, and it really makes me wish modern directors would look back and relearn what was common knowledge in film making. No blurry jump cuts, nothing hidden in needlessly dark scenes, just solid set ups and good blocking.

So, do I and Clint Eastwood recommend this movie? Absolutely! It's one of Eastwood's favorites, and although I won't go that far, I loved it. White Heat ranges from solid to brilliant from beginning to end, and demonstrates how important it is to have an intelligent villain. Tough and scary is good, but without brains the main villain looses too much. Yes, White Heat is old, but in no way decrepit, and if you like movies, do yourself a service and watch it as soon as possible.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Questionably Good.

I have had a very hectic week, but that does not mean I don't have something for you.

The Youtube channel Dungeon Soup makes bizarre animations centered on fantasy with a D&D-ish slant.

Recently their series, Chaotic Good Barbarian has taken the Youtube sphere by storm, and I thought I'd share it with you guys today.

Be aware that both the style and humor is pretty out there, and I don't think its for everyone, but I have enjoyed it a lot. Behind the oddball antics is some pretty smart writing, and if you pay close attention to episode 2, you are going to get some neat inside information.

I'm going to let the series speak for itself, overselling something is annoying at the best of times. I'll embed the first video and link the playlist below.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!   

 

Full Playlist

From War to Games.

I have a distinct memory that I have mentioned Kriegsspiel before, but I'm not sure so here we go.

A friend recommended a video about the subject, and it was so good I wanted to share it with you all.  

The video will explain it all in detail, but let me give you a bit of a teaser. Kriegsspiel or wargame in German, was a way to simulate battles on a table before actually fighting them in real life. Countries that adopted Kriegsspiel saw a marked increase in success on the battlefield compared to those who believed they didn't need such nonsense. 

In time, civilians got into it, and thanks to that, we eventually got things like Dungeons & Dragons, the Total War games, Warhammer and much much more. Kriegsspiel even in a sense invented hit points. A huge portion of modern gaming came from generals trying to rehearse battles in advance. 

I highly recommend this video if you've ever played any of the games I mentioned or indeed anything even remotely similar, or if you just like history. 

 

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

All The Pieces Matter

A short while ago, my wife found a free game on Steam that I also had to get. This game is:

Jigsaw Puzzle Dreams

As the name suggests it's a jigsaw puzzle game. I immediately grabbed it as well, and I've been hooked ever since.

As I said, the game is free, but its DLC isn't, they are like 4 euros each. However, if you grab any DLC, which all contain more puzzles and stuff, you also unlock the ability to upload any picture you want and turn that into a jigsaw to solve. This is the part that really grabbed me by the neck and won't let go.

There is a room around you as you play, and you can customize it as well as the table beneath the puzzle. Once you're done, you can hang the completed puzzle on the wall in your room. This feature isn't really necessary, but it is a fun little extra to enjoy.

That's kind of all I got. Jigsaw Puzzle Dreams isn't some revolutionary game, it's just a solid fun jigsaw experience, and if you like that, you should probably get it. With that one DLC purchase, you have an endless amount of jigsaw puzzles to solve, and with the base price of free, it is safe to at least try.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a puzzle to finish.

That's that and all that. Join me again nest time and until then, have a great week!

Patty Hearst

More or less on a whim I watched:

Patty Hearst (1988).

This movie directed by Paul Schrader, stars Natasha Richardson, Ving Rhames and William Forsythe amongst many others, and tells the story of the kidnapping of Patty Hearst by the Symbionese Liberation Army, aka the SLA.

The movie is based on the true events and is mostly factually accurate. There are a few minor details that are made up, but in general, what happens in the movie happened for real.

So Patty, the granddaughter of newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst, is kidnapped by the SLA as leverage to get some comrades released from prison. While in captivity, Patty starts to sympathize with the radical left wing ideologies of the SLA. Whether she actually believed it or went along to not get killed is the big question, and that question has never been properly answered. She did however participate in several actions, or to be more blunt, crimes.

Her lawyers claimed she was brainwashed, but she was convicted of multiple charges which included bank robbery, and was sentenced to 35 years in prison. President Carter commuted her sentence in 1979, but she remained on probation until Bill Clinton pardoned her in 2001.

The movie is overall well shot. The early scenes of her captivity are very stylish and highlights her confusion and terror. This stylishness gradually goes away until the movie has a fairly dull feel to it. In a sense, the excitement goes away. I think this is deliberate to highlight her emotional state.

The actors are really good. Richardson is excellent, but it is Rhames that steal the early show. His deep voice adds gravitas to his rambling political speeches and helps you understand why she could have become a convert.

What struck me as odd while watching, but made sense later, is what a bunch of losers the SLA really were. They sit around spitting political rhetoric at each other and then go out to commit crimes “for the cause”, but they have no actual plan on how they could change society to become more just. From a movie or story perspective this is strange, but then I realized, why would they? They weren't geniuses. They were normal angry people with some guns and a will to do something. This will does not come with a plan attached.

Of course the real case caused a massive stir in the US. The very idea that a scion from one of the richest families in the country could willingly join 'communist terrorists' was almost unthinkable, but it happened.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes and no. If you just want to watch a movie and relax for a couple of hours, then I suggest something else. If the real Patty Hearst case interests you, then it is absolutely worth watching. It's not bad, and I really don't know how I would do it better, but it isn't that great either.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Harry Brown

I learned of a revenge/vigilante movie in regards to other such movies like John Wick and Nobody. As the movie stars Michael Caine, I sat down and watched:

Harry Brown (2009).

Minor Spoilers ahead:

Harry (Michael Caine) is a pensioner who was once upon a time a Royal Marine, serving in Northern Ireland. He lives in a dismal, run down council estate that is ruled by drug dealing, drug addled and violent young thugs. Then his wife dies. And his only friend dies. It's all horrible, sad and depressing. Finally he snaps and the old marine wakes up and goes on the war path. The problem is, he's really old and suffers from emphysema, so he's not exactly fit anymore.

To begin with, this movie is really well made. It feels absolutely authentic, though I did read that the graffiti is actually American and not British, but what do I know?

The actors are phenomenal, heightening the already bleak and awful atmosphere. Harry Brown is filmed in that grim, pale way the British do so well. Dead Man's Shoes was the same way, but believe it or not, Harry Brown is much dirtier. That actually surprised me.

Seeing as Harry is old and unwell, there aren't really any action scenes, but there is a lot of violence, which appropriately enough is brutal and nasty. The sexuality on display is likewise dirty and grimy, the whole affair makes you feel like you need a shower afterwards. I don't however hold this against the movie. This subject matter isn't supposed to be glamorous or cool. The thugs are the way they are because they grew up in an environment that gave them few chances if any, not that it is any kind of an excuse. We all make choices in our lives, and we have to face the consequences of those choices. Sometimes that consequence is an old retired and very angry marine.

Michael Caine as the star of the show, does a phenomenal job. He tells his friend Len, that when he met his wife, he suppressed his previous self in order to be able to be a husband and father. Oh yeah, his daughter died as a child just to make all the tragedy just a bit worse. You actually see this in the way he moves and how he observes things. Early on, he sort of staggers forward with a confused look on his face, but later he moves with purpose.

The story isn't what you'd call groundbreaking, but I think a more complicated plot would have made it impossible to follow as well as dragging it out too much. The pacing is just right, and as compelling as it is, it would quickly outstay its welcome if it was any longer.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes, I think so. Harry Brown like I said, is superbly crafted, but I can't say it was an enjoyable watching experience. Normally, vigilante movies have that moment when the protagonist starts getting even and lets face it, that moment is awesome. Whether it is John Wick, Nobody or Death Wish, that moment feels good, but in Harry Brown you don't get that. Sure the bad guys deserve it, but it's just more pain added on to the massive pile of suffering already there, and no one gets to be happy. If you're feeling down, watch something happier for your own sake.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

The Yorkshire Ripper

This week I decided to watch not one, but two documentaries about:

The Yorkshire Ripper.

The first documentary is an older one with interviews with the involved police officers and a few of the surviving victims. If you only want to watch one, watch this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbNsY6j9xSc&t=5847s

The second one is a fan made documentary and to my surprise, it complements the official one nicely. There are no interviews, but the narrator goes into detail about each attack, which the first one doesn't, or at least not in such detail. Warning: The details in the second documentary are very graphic, and sensitive people should give it a miss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm42xHcunOg

I'll embed both below for easy watching in the order mentioned above.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

 

 

Prose & Codes.

 It should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I am an avid reader. I've been one my whole life, and that is not likely to change.

I am also a gamer so I was very happy to find the game Prose & Codes on Steam. This is a letter substitution cypher game, based on quotes from classic literature. There are over 400 puzzles in 8 genres to choose from, and the game has super low requirements so that is not an issue either.

The publisher gives a portion of sales to Project Gutenberg in order to support this wonderful library of out of copyright books. They are free and legal to download and come in a variety of formats from .txt to PDF and ePub. 

When you have solved a puzzle, you learn where its from and there is even a direct link to Gutenberg so you don't even need to go looking for the novel yourself if you want to read it. Now that is service! They even recently added more puzzles to the game for free, which is really cool.

There is also a sequel, Poems & Codes, but I'm not done with the first game yet, so can't guarantee its as good, but I assume it is.  

If you like reading, I highly recommend this game. I'll embed the trailer below for your convenience.

 

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

Sorcerer

Basically on a whim, I watched:

Sorcerer (1977).

This William Friedkin (The Exorcist, The French Connection) suspense movie has nothing to do with magic, despite the title. It is based on the novel Le Salaire de la peur which was made into the 1955 movie Wages of Fear. Many claim that Sorcerer is a remake of that movie, something Friedkin always denied.

In a nutshell, three men are hiding from their misdeeds in a small hellhole in South America. The only available work is for a US owned oil well, and even so, the pay is garbage. They all want out, but are nowhere near rich enough to be able to escape. A ticket to Argentina and a passport would cost almost 2000 pesos, and one of them has managed to save a hundred. Then a mysterious hitman arrives and the tension rises again.

One day, the local guerrillas blow up the well and the only way to put it out is with dynamite, but the only available dynamite is 351 km (218 miles) away, and it's old and sweating. In case you didn't know, dynamite sweats pure nitroglycerin and nitro doesn't like sudden movement.

The oil company promises 8000 pesos each to the four men who can and are willing to drive the sweaty dynamite through the jungle, down bumpy roads and across rickety bridges. Only the most foolhardy or desperate men would take on such a task.

Sorcerer opens with four short vignettes showing what these men did to end up in the hell hole. Make no mistake, these are not good people but you still can't help sympathize with their plight once the job is on.

Clocking in at two hours, the first hour is basically all set up. The vignettes, the back breaking work, it's all misery and pain. But it is important misery. You could watch the most suspenseful scenes by themselves, but without the buildup I think you'd loose so much. You need to follow these men to understand them, to truly get why they are putting themselves through such suffering. It's easy to dismiss a lot of Sorcerer as theatrical nonsense but I firmly believe that this is a masterfully crafted thriller with well managed slow burn.

The actors are good, with Roy Scheider as the “main character”. The music is by Tangerine Dream and works well, but the star is actually Friedkin and his cinematography. Each scene is meticulously crafted, with a blend of the gritty realism from The French Connection and the overhanging sense of doom from The Exorcist. During the vignette in Jerusalem, I almost expected to see Father Karras, but that would of course be silly. That is however the atmosphere Friedkin managed to create.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes but not to everyone. If you like to have a movie on while you do stuff on your phone, this is not the film for you. Sorcerer demands attention and if you can give it that, it will reward you. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a masterpiece, but it is a really good movie, and that is enough.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week with no sweaty dynamite!

 

Stereotypes

 Hello,

I've had a pretty busy week, so unfortunately I have nothing concrete to talk about this week, but you showed up and deserve something for it.

What I have today is the comedy of  Foil Arms and Hog, a comedy trio from Ireland. I want to highlight their amazing getting past immigration interview series, where the answers are true but never what you expect. I'll link the playlist below for your pleasure:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBhpqVyEFbg&list=PLQYUb9JUs7E_-jkxbSykWTB7NfPOIpYk2

 

Beyond that, join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Nosferatu

I watched:

Nosferatu (2024),

by Robert Eggers (The Witch, The Lighthouse).

This is a remake of the 1922 Nosferatu, which in turn is a ripoff of Dracula. That's why the major story beats are more or less identical to Dracula.

Thomas Hutter (Nicholas Hoult), newly married to Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp) is sent by his boss, the sinister estate agent Knock to Romania to finalize the purchase of an estate. He visits Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgård), our titular vampire, and has a very bad time. Meanwhile, Ellen who is staying with friends, suffers worse and worse seizures and walks in her sleep. Turns out she has a sinister connection to Orlok, and just like in Dracula, he is coming for her. Thomas has to fight to save his wife together with Dr. Sievers (Ralph Ineson) and scientist turned alchemist, Professor von Franz (Willem Dafoe).

First off, Nosferatu looks incredible. Every shot, every scene is a Gothic painting come to life. A grim fairy-tale full of horror and suffering. I sound melodramatic, I know, but this movie genuinely looks amazing. So amazing in fact that it almost becomes distracting. I suppose the sound is good, but I actually can't recall it, that is how mesmerizing this movie is. Count Orlok's caste is in fact Castle Hunedoara, where the real Vlad Dracul spent some time.

The actors are likewise fantastic, especially Hoult and Depp, who in case you didn't guess is the daughter of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis. Both portray terror and despair incredibly well, and the scenes where Ellen has her hideous seizures were not shot with a body double, Depp really did them herself. Strong stuff. It is worth noting that there is a bit of overacting in this movie, and I wonder if it is a homage to the original, since early movies were incredibly over acted.

The titular character deserves a separate mention. Count Orlok is played by Bill Skarsgård, the same man who also played Pennywise the clown. He again goes above and beyond to be terrifying, succeeding so well that several cast members wanted nothing to do with him while in makeup. A makeup that took 4-6 hours for 6 artists to apply. He also worked with an opera trainer to lower his voice an octave, which Gary Oldman also did for Bram Stokers' Dracula.

One can't watch a remake without comparing it to the original, so lets do that. A hard comparison though since Nosferatu 1922 is a silent movie shot in black and white, while Nosferatu 2024 is in color. Pale colors, this is an Eggers movie after all, but color nonetheless. Eggers has added a few scenes while omitting others, but nothing that harms the movie in any way. The most noticeable change is Orlok himself. In the 22 version Orlok is a thin, emaciated and rodent like figure, very creepy, sinister and unsettling, whereas the 24 Orlok is massive, intimidating and brutal. The 24 version is also somewhat decayed and rotten, and sports a large drooping mustache. Eggers wanted him to look like a eastern European aristocrat which is something the 22 version does not do. Skarsgård stands 6'3 normally and in makeup he was a towering 7+ feet, making him even more menacing. Orlok also seems to have difficulty breathing, which is so labored and rattling that Darth Vader sounds healthy in comparison. This detail puzzled me until I realized that as a vampire he doesn't normally breathe and so he has to force air into his decayed lungs in order to talk. Awesome detail.

My biggest gripe with Nosferatu 24 is the pacing and storytelling, which sadly is a bit choppy. Several scenes feel like they forgot them and forced them into the only spot they could go. I of course have no idea of what Eggers wanted, he might have wanted to make the experience more jarring and thus more unsettling, but several times I got annoyed at the flow being interrupted by a new scene popping up. I'll give a small example. At one point the movie cuts to von Franz opening an occult book at a random page, flipping forward a few pages and immediately finding the key to defeating Orlok, complete with illustration. Then the scene ends and cuts to something else. Jarring!

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes, absolutely. The visuals alone make it worth watching and it holds so much more. Nosferatu 2024 is the least sexy vampire movie I have ever seen, and I like it. If you have any interest in vampires or Gothic media, then do watch Nosferatu 2024.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Dead Man's Shoes

On a friends recommendation I watched:

Dead Man's Shoes (2004).

This British revenge drama is directed by Shane Meadows who also co-wrote it with main star Paddy Considine.

The story is this; A soldier, Richard (Considine) returns to his small home town to get revenge on a group of local lowlifes for tormenting his mentally impaired brother Anthony. The group deals drugs, takes drugs and likes to mess around, but against an angry paratrooper they have little to show.

The Roaring Rampage of Revenge trope is an old one, and I have seen a few in my time. Tarantino's Kill Bill movies exemplify the trope, but Dead Man's Shoes is a different beast. There is no glamour, no real cathartic moment like when John Wick gets revenge for his dog, and really no action. It's gloomy, miserable and sad, but in a good way if that makes sense.

The movie is told in two parts, flash backs in black and white and the present in color. We see everything the group does to Anthony, especially the groups leader, Sonny (Gary Stretch). He is the dark soul that pushes things too far, the one who laughs the loudest, gets the angriest and the one the group follows and fears. He doesn't even walk, he swaggers.

Dead Man's Shoes is extremely well made. It takes realism to a level where it almost becomes surreal. The camera is often right in there, putting you in their dingy living rooms, even right up in their faces, essentially trapping you in the grim narrative with no way out but through to the end.

Staying with the gloomy mood, the soundtrack is sad and melancholy, but good. The actors are likewise good, with several being veterans of the craft, amateur hour this is not.

I think the central theme of the movie is guilt. Not just the guilt of doing something wrong, but the guilt of not putting a stop to it, the guilt of being away and the guilt of revenge itself. They say two wrongs don't make a right, and Dead Man's Shoes is an example of that, but it's also about justice.

So, do I recommend this movie? Yes, absolutely. Dead Man's Shoes is extremely compelling even though it is the kind of dark movie that saps the light from the sun and leave a bad taste in your mouth. I wouldn't go so far as to call it brilliant, but more than worth watching at least once.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

She's a witch!

I finally watched:

The Witch (2015).

Written and directed by Robert Eggers (The Lighthouse, Nosferatu), this horror movie is more of an experience than a regular film.

Set in New England in the 1630's, a family leaves / is exiled from their community due to religious differences. The family consists of the father William, the mother Katherine, the eldest daughter Thomasin, her younger brother Caleb as well as the twins Jonas and Mercy and the infant Samuel. They set up a farm on the edge of a dark forest and try to survive. Things soon take a sinister turn.

The Witch or to be more exact The VVitch (since W wasn't a thing back then) was meticulously researched and is as much as possible based on books, letters and diaries from the period. Likewise the props department did an outstanding job getting the costumes as correct as possible.

The downside of this is that the dialogue is all thees and thous, which is fine, but I'm not used to listening to it and when a scene has pouring rain and someone screaming in the background, it becomes hard to follow the dialogue.

The Witch is one of the bleakest looking movies I have ever seen. It is shot in color, but it almost feels like black and white, as all the colors are washed out. This together with the excellent soundtrack creates an incredibly doom laden atmosphere, which is appropriate for the plot.

The actors deserve a special shout-out for their excellence. Ralph Ineson (William) and Kate Dickie (Katherine) are great, but they are veteran actors so no surprise there. The stand outs are Anya Taylor-Joy (Thomasin) and Harvey Scrimshaw (Caleb). Both were in the early stages of their careers and do an incredible job, particularly Scrimshaw who was only thirteen and the time. Caleb is a hard role for such a young actor, and he knocks it out of the park.

I think it's important to reiterate that The Witch is more an experience than a regular movie. Not only is it confusing at times, but I found it almost impossible to predict what would happen, something I love in a movie as long as things make sense.

What I do find weird is that it was apparently Eggers intent that the happenings would be ambiguous, in other words that it may be a real witch or that it could be superstition and religious hysteria. But since you see the witch, the uncertainty falls apart. I have seen movies that operate under the “is it / isn't it” method, and The Witch is in my opinion not one of those.

So, do I recommend The VVitch? Yes, it is incredible. Just as The Lighthouse, it left me both a bit bewildered and very impressed. I was afraid that it would have been too oppressive with accusations and denouncements together with lots of beatings in the vein of “spare the rod, spoil the child”, but I was pleasantly surprised. The characters are mostly likable which makes the tragedies hit harder. Make no mistake, this is a horror movie, but not what normally comes to mind when one says horror.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Too many options.

When you decide to play a new game that has too many options, whether of the video or tabletop variety, you may run into the problem of analysis paralysis.

I'll give you a couple of examples. In Blood Bowl you have to pick a team. In Total War you have to pick a faction/nation. In Cyberpunk 2077 you have to pick a life path and a character build. These are the games currently spinning around in my head, but there are so many others. In Magic the Gathering you have to pick a color or colors for your deck, in Warmachine you pick an army, in chess you pick... no there are only two choices in chess. I'm sure you get the idea by now.

So how do you pick a side? This is my system.

Step 1. The Rule of Cool.

What looks the coolest to you? Which style speaks to you the most?

In Total War Warhammer, I went with the Vampire Counts first, because I like fantasy Gothic and the undead, simple as that. In Blood Bowl I went with Dark Elves. On my first Cyberpunk 2077 character I went with a nomad and stealth and pistols.

In these examples I had an idea that it would work, because I knew a little about the games, but my choices were based mostly on style.

Step 2. Playstyle.

What kind of playstyle speaks to you the most?

In Blood Bowl, some teams are slow, tough and hit hard, some are fast, agile and dodge trouble and some are a hybrid. In Total War Warhammer, some factions are masters of ranged combat (usually the elves), some are slow and “indestructible” (dwarves) and some do both (Empire). In Cyberpunk 2077, you can't spec your character into everything, so you need to choose the style you need. Fast brutal frontal assault or sneaky precise infiltration? Quick hacks or a time slowing sandevistan?

Before making a choice try to look at how the faction you like the looks of, actually plays in reality. 

 

Step 3. Try Again.

Never be afraid to start over and try another team.

Sometimes Step 1 and 2 don't fit together at all. You may really like the aesthetics of a faction but hate the way they play. This is when you have to re-evaluate. In video games that is easy enough, just grab the next team/faction etc. and try again, but in tabletop that is harder. After all, if you have just put a couple of hundred monies on an army and you don't like it you can't switch just like that.

This is when research becomes important. Read some guides and watch some games before you decide, and you'll be in a better position. If you are talking about video games like I am, then starting over is completely valid. There is no point in forcing yourself to finish a game with a team you don't like just to be stubborn. Re-roll and be happy.

Step 4. Research.

This final rule may seem like a bit of an obvious point to make, but watch some videos before you decide, particularly with strategy games. Story driven games like RPG's can be spoiled, but strategy games are all about the experience. Then again, you should probably do a bit of research before you put down your hard earned money on any game.

Hopefully this is of some help to someone, your method may be different, but this is how I like to do it.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great week!

 

Who makes the blood flow?

When it comes to the wide world of horror and sci-fi movies, special effects are beyond important. Creepy aliens, gushing blood and dramatic fights would be nowhere without the creative geniuses who apply the makeup and the effects. 

Some names will live forever in this world, names like Rick Baker, Bud Westmore, Dick Smith and Stan Winston. Today I have a documentary about two others, Tom Savini and Greg Nicotero. 

Be advised that this video contains disturbing images, so if that's not your thing, stay away. There may also be some spoilers, well known spoilers but be aware.

That said, enjoy, and join me again next time. Until then, have a great week!

Direct link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOaqAVwFr5Y 

 

 

Too intimidated to try.

As a bit of a Christmas present to myself, I bought Total War: Warhammer One and Two together with some of the DLC. As an old school Warhammer Fantasy fan, I've been eyeing these games for years. So why haven't I gotten them before? A small part of the answer is money, huge games are expensive, and I hate paying a lot for something I'm not even sure I'll like, but the discounts on the Steam Winter Sale were really good.

The bigger part of the answer though, is intimidation. I'm not much of a strategy player to begin with, and the Total War games are in themselves a bit daunting. I did play Total War: Empire ten years ago, and it was fun but I never went back. Now I figured it was time to get back on the warhorse.

That is the topic for today, being too intimidated to try something you want. This can cover anything really, learning a new language, taking up sewing, joining a club etc, but I'm looking at it through the lens of gaming.

When I first fired up Cyberpunk 2077 it intimidated me in no time flat. Everything seemed threatening, and I had no idea what kind of consequences my actions would have. Then I did the tutorial which appears just before your first proper mission and wow that was a lot to take in! Sneaking, hacking, quickhacking, melee with parrying and dodging, cybernetics and so on and so on. I closed the game and it was over a year before I tried again, but now it is one of my all time favorite games. It is absolutely superb! What I came to eventually realize is that you can't do everything in Cyberpunk, you also don't need to even try to. Don't feel like melee? Stick to guns. Annoyed at hacking? Get a time slowing Sandevistan and kill your enemies in slow motion. Once I understood this, I was liberated and free to just have fun.

Back in 2010 I watched a Skyrim preview event and saw the hero dual wield weapons, sling spells and cause a storm that forced a dragon to land before killing said dragon. Epic stuff, but I wondered how I was ever going to manage all that. Turns out that none of it was difficult once you got a bit of practice, and certainly nothing you had to do immediately. I have over 1000 hours in Skyrim across several versions.

I have never been a Soulsborne player, in part because of the intimidation factor. FromSoft are geniuses at making their enemies terrifying. The most likely first boss in Bloodborne, The Cleric Beast is a perfect example. How it looks, how it moves and definitely how it sounds are all intended to scare you into screwing up and failing. But if you look at an experienced player you'll see that they are not intimidated. They know what they are doing and although you can never let down you guard in games like Bloodborne, they can kill The Cleric Beast with ease.

Getting over the intimidation factor isn't always easy, but at least in games you can ask “what do I have to loose?”. Time is the answer. Even if you screw up so badly that you have to restart the game, you have learned something, which is never a waste of time.

Applying this logic to other parts of our lives isn't an exact comparison. If you're learning to sew, the fabric can get ruined if you really mess up, but with all learning, you need to start small, start with raw materials you can sacrifice on the altar of knowledge and try. Theory and Practice are two different things.

This brings me back to Total War: Warhammer. I have watched a lot of lets play's from different creators. What they have in common is practice and lots of it which makes it looks so easy. Then I fire up the game and nothing works like what I saw, and of course it didn't. I haven't practiced yet, but I'm getting there.

I'm not sure I've made any sense today, this is just something I wanted to get off my chest. I guess I want to encourage you to do something you've wanted to, but haven't yet. Besides, if you mess up, you don't have to tell anyone.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time, and until then, have a great week!