Pain & Gain

Yesterday I accidentally stumbled over a movie I had never heard of. A small film, produced on the cheap for a mere $26 million, called Pain &Gain (2013).

Directed by Michael Bay and starring (amongst others) Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, this is one of the oddest movies I have seen in a long, long time.

The story in a nutshell is this: It's 1994 in Miami and personal trained Daniel Lugo (Wahlberg) is fed up with being a regular Joe. He recruits fellow trainer Adrian Doorbal and ex-con Paul Doyle (The Rock) and together they kidnap a rich businessman in order to make him sign over all his wealth to them.

Sound simple, right? Well see here's the thing. Pain & Gain is not just a crime movie, it's also a black comedy and it's based on a true story. It's insane, violent, absurd, kinda funny, and at all times really weird. It's also too long.

Take ten percent from Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, 25 % from a Guy Ritchie movie, a healthy pinch of Miami Vice and a few bit and pieces from various sources and you get this movie.

What needs to be said it that it's not a bad movie. It's very clear that Bay really cared, and it shows. He is a skilled director and P&G is beautifully shot. The actors are also good. Wahlberg had to bulk up from 165 to 200 pounds of muscle, which required twelve meals a day. Dedication indeed. What also stands out is The Rock. I've seen him in several movies, and always as the total badass. The kind of man-mountain that flips cars and punches through walls. Here he is sensitive. Sensitive and at times totally insane, but he emotes the fear and disgust really well.

Pain & Gain is however two hours long and in this case that's 20-30 minutes too much. There are several scenes that feel pointless to the flow of the story and just enhances the weird factor. Like when Doorbal is having sex with his wife, and she's flailing around with a pair of nunchucks. It adds nothing and could well have ended up on the cutting room floor with no one the wiser.

Here be minor spoilers. The three wanna-be master criminals are complete, excuse the expression, fuck-ups. I usually try to avoid profanity here, but it's the only word that adequately explains the sheer madness they call a plan. A lot of the comedy flows from these scenes, as especially Lugo fancies himself some kind of genius, and you can see a myriad of problems they just blissfully ignore. They coast by on an enormous amount of luck, and it the subject matter wasn't so gruesome, it would be really funny. The quote: “I was abducted by bodybuilder ninjas” should say a lot.

In closing, I enjoyed myself, but you should probably be in a certain mood to enjoy this. I do recommend it, but I imagine some people won't make it through both hours, at least not in one sitting.

That's that. Join me again next time, and until then have a wonderful week!