World War Zzzzz

During the weekend I decided to watch World War Z. I have read the book, and let me just say the book is as good as the film is bad. Which is to say the book (written by Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks) is damn good.

The following post is stuffed with SPOILERS, just so you know.

My first reaction when I watched the trailer was one of real disappointment. One of the key features of the book is that the zombies are slow. They even reference the Romero movies (Dawn of the Dead etc.) to give the reader the right image.

In the movie they are fast zombies, a la 28 Days. So what, you ask? So everything, I reply! This changes the entire plot, from the focus to the execution.

In the novel, Gerry collects and correlates survivor stories after WWZ is over. The narrative goes from outbreak to reclamation, and illustrates how it happened, what didn't work and why it didn't, and finally how the earth was slowly an painfully taken back from the shambling hordes.

Every chapter focuses on different people in various parts of the world, from an Indian general to a Japanese otaku. From American families just trying to survive to Russian zealots hunting the dead.

Mr. Brooks also illustrates brilliantly how ineffective modern weapons are against a gargantuan horde of zombies who can't be hurt or demoralized. You have to destroy the brain to kill them, making things like land mines useless. I loved the part where an economic formula is developed to calculate the acceptable cost of killing one zombie, where one bullet per kill is too expensive to make recovery possible.

Now in the movie, Brad Pitt goes on an international run-away-from-zombies tour, only to discover a surprisingly easy solution to the entire problem. Easy but ridiculous. Since they changed the style of zombie, the book no longer works, and you are stuck with a pretty generic movie featuring rage zombies.

Stylistically the film looks great, it truly does, but that's the only good thing I can say about it. Even an actor as good as Brad can't salvage this. All the scenes with his family are wooden and feels unreal, which means that they become annoying rather than gripping. The only reason I didn't want Gerry (Pitt) to die, was because that would have made him the great Martyr, and this film has enough cliches as it is.

Every once in a while, particularly in the beginning, they throw little moral lessons at you, as if to say “Look, we're making statements about humanity here”. The helpful junkie & the uncaring cop, the Israelis and Palestinians living side by side etc etc. This does nothing for the movie what so ever, it only bogs it down with more useless scenes.

Then we come to the dumbest part: the last half hour.

Gerry is in a plane crash on his way to a W.H.O. Center in Wales. Apart from himself, the only survivor is an Israeli soldier who helped him get on the plane in the first place. (A zombie, a hand grenade and explosive decompression took care of all the other passengers).

As Gerry comes to, we see that a bit of metal has been run all the way through his gut. The soldier he's with, had her hand chopped off in Israel, but despite these horrific injuries, both make it to the W.H.O. Center! No shock, no blood loss, no lying down and screaming. Oh no, you see, they're heroes!

Once at the center, Gerry is unconscious for three days and after that, he only expresses mild discomfort when he wakes up. Hours later he's running around bashing in zombie brains with no sign of pain at all. After having his gut impaled? Riiiiight...

Finally the reason he went to Wales in the first place. Gerry-boy has figured out that the undead, and yes, the zombies are undead, not just rabid humans, avoid attacking seriously sick humans! Really? I guess they magically sense this while sprinting around.

So of course he's put in a position where he has to randomly choose a disease and inject himself with it to avoid the zombies. And of course it works, and of course humanity is saved. And no, he didn't choose Ebola by mistake...

End with joyful scene where he is reunited with his boring family. The End, thankfully.

In conclusion, they've taken a well written, thoughtful book and turned it into a boring, generic and pointless action movie.

World War Z could have been a great TV series. It's pretty much already written as one, but no, we get a bland rehash instead.

Technically well made – apart from all the jagged action scenes that are so en vogue these days – but if you're going to watch this, turn off all expectations first. There are many more “What? Really?” scenes that I haven't mentioned, but I'm sure you get the point.

Just read the book instead.