Low in calories but not in fun

Alright, I haven't done a funny commercials post in a long while. So, to rectify that here are five commercials for Bud Light. Mind you, I have no idea if the beer is good or not, I've never had it but they do spend a lot of money on their ads. So much money that I'm starting to wonder if they're compensating for something...

Either way, please enjoy these commercials. Sadly the resolution is poor in some of them, they are pretty old, but they are still pretty damn funny!

So join me again next time, and until then, have a great and safe week!

 

  

 

  

  

 

Black Dynamite

A couple of evenings ago I was rummaging around on Youtube, trying to find something I felt like watching, and that's when I tripped across a scene from the movie Black Dynamite. I originally thought it was an old blaxploitation movie from back in the day, but to my surprise it was made in 2009. Intrigued, I sat down and watched it.

For those of you who are unaware of what blaxploitation is, here is what you get if you Google the term:

“Blaxploitation is an ethnic subgenre of the exploitation film that emerged in the United States during the early 1970s. The term, a portmanteau of the words "black" and "exploitation", was coined in August 1972 by Junius Griffin, then president of the Beverly Hills-Hollywood NAACP branch.”

Now that that's out of the way we can talk about Black Dynamite. This movie is both a parody of, and a love letter to the genre as a whole. It also spoofs the kung-fu movies of the 70's as well as the whole cheaply made action cinema of the time. It in no way takes itself seriously and it must have been a blast to work on. They even intentionally do things like show the boom mic, change stuntmen in the middle of a fight, and a woman smokes a cigarette that is clearly not lit. There is even a scene where a guy looks back while driving and the rear projection shows him driving through an S curve perfectly. It becomes a thing in itself to find all the intentional goofs.

The dialogue is also hilariously bad, with lines like:

“Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!” or “I'd like to take the credit, but dig, mama, there's no "i" in "revolutio...", in "team.” or “These children are orphans, and orphans don't have parents!"

Black Dynamite is directed by Scott Sanders and stars Michael Jai White as Black Dynamite. White is also one of the screenwriters. His character Black Dynamite is the epitome of the badass superman. He can kick anyone's ass, and his revolver never runs out of ammo. All the women want him and his enemies fear him above all else. In a non-satire movie the character would be impossibly bad, but here it is perfect.

Having Michael Jai White in a martial arts role is always a treat as the man is ridiculously good at it. Watching him move is a treat just by itself, but we also get evidence that he can pull off a comedic role, which is something many action stars struggle with.

I won't mention the plot as I don't want to spoil anything, besides Black Dynamite is as much an experience as a story. Speaking of experience, I have often lamented that modern movies can't capture an era as long as the viewer can personally remember it. This movie does something interesting however. It adds a film grain effect over the whole thing, that together with the period cars and clothes, really makes it feel like the 70's. This is why I thought the clip I saw was from a genuine period blaxploitation movie. It's brilliant in its simplicity.

So, do I recommend the movie? Yes. Absolutely yes. Any comedy fan ought to like it, especially if you like spoofs like Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie. Black Dynamite is rude, raunchy and completely unapologetic. I had a blast and should you choose to watch it, I hope you will too.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!

More crime action

I have a double billing for you all today.

Earlier in the week I was in the mood for yet another poliziotteschi movie so I sat down and watched The Mad Dog Killer, aka Beast with a Gun (1977).

Mad Dog Killer is a weird movie. There is no mystery, no conspiracy, only rage and violence.

A vicious killer, Nanni Vitali escapes from prison with some of his henchmen. Nanni wastes no time and goes on a rampage immediately. Foremost in his mind is revenge against the man who testified against him. Police commissioner Santini is hot on the trail and that's the whole plot.

What makes Mad Dog Killer stand out is Nanni played by Helmut Berger. He brings an intensity and insanity that is reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter, if Lecter ran around savaging and killing people like a hungry dog in a sausage factory. A person who is willing to risk anything to get even with you is terrifying indeed and Nanni is just that.

As usual I'm avoiding spoilers as much as possible so this is all I can really say. The plot is paper thin but that is all it is aiming to be. Fair warning though, Mad Dog Killer has a lot of violence in it, some of it directed at women, so if you need a trigger warning, this is it.

Over all, The Mad Dog Killer was entertaining and fairly well made. The only complaint I have is that the police come across as pretty incompetent, but overall I had a good time. Fun fact: Tarantino showed a scene in his film Jackie Brown.

However, with Mad Dog Killer being so simple, I figured we needed a second movie. So I watched Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man (1976).

Here we follow Fred and Tony, two cops who belong to a secret division of the police in Rome who have license to kill. They ignore due process and people's rights and brutally execute criminals with no second though. They thoroughly enjoy their job too.

We follow them as they chase down thieves on a motorcycle (for 8 minutes!), foil a robbery and free a hostage but the central plot revolves around the hunt for a reclusive gangster boss.

Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man is an odd movie. Sandwiched in between all the action and violence is an absurd sense of humor that almost pushes it into exploitation cinema rather than the poliziotteschi genre. In many ways it feels more American than Italian, and it could easily be remade without too much fuss. It felt almost like a down and dirty James Bond movie, with the casual machismo and remorseless killing before hitting on the bosses secretary again.

Do I recommend these movies? Yes, for fans of crime cinema and 70's movies. Both are products of their time, and it shows throughout. I'd recommend The Mad Dog Killer a little less than Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man however.

Having now seen a few poliziotteschi movies, it is fun to see the same actors return in different roles. Two of the police commanders in Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man play mafia bosses in films I've written about previously.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!

Pub Wisdom

Today we're looking at the comedy of Al Murray.

Al Murray is a British stand-up comedian (amongst other things) with a degree in history from Oxford. His most famous act is the pub landlord, a beer drinking, opinionated know-it-all who is fiercely proud of his country.

It's worth pointing out that this is an act, and I have to point it out as I've seen people react to his jokes thinking he's being serious. He's not, even though what he says is mostly true, at least if seen from a certain point of view.

If you want to see more, here is the link to his Youtube channel: 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGjQDPRA9zvdjEsSrdYUHVA 

There isn't that much more to say, so please enjoy and until next time, have a great and safe week!

 

 

  

  

 

First time fun

Hello and welcome back to Eccentric Spheres. Today in the interest of  keeping it short and sweet, I'll get to the point. Yesterday, I live-streamed for the first time, and I loved it. It was a ton of fun and I'm going to do it again at some point.

I played Fallout 4 with a bunch of minor mods together with the Whispering Hills mod overhaul pack. It essentially transforms Fallout into a foggy hellscape a la Silent Hill. Unsettling to not see where you're going to say the least.

If you want to watch the VoD, here it is: 

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1192321709

Be aware though that it will disappear after 14 days, so if you're planning on watching it, do it now before it's too late.

 

That's that and all that. Join me again next time, and until then, have a great and safe week! 

  

 

Dark Waters

This week's movie Dark Waters (1993) is a re-watch. Back in the mid 90's, I watched this movie a couple of times and had in fact almost forgotten it until I read an article in an old horror magazine. Armed with the name and some vague memories I sat down and took a trip down memory lane.

Dark Waters is probably the first foreign movie filmed in the Ukraine after the fall of the Soviet Union. They were plagued by problems throughout and a crew member was nearly killed in a cave in. It was a seriously tough shoot for everyone involved but in the end they created an interesting movie.

Mild spoilers ahead, not that it matters in this case.

Our main character Elizabeth travels to a monastery on a remote island to investigate her own past, some cryptic clues left by her dead father and to figure out whether she should keep up with the payments to the monastery as her father had done. This is the only part of the story that truly makes sense.

For some reason a friend of hers had gone ahead which isn't properly explained. She wrote a letter urging Elizabeth to travel there but it may have been a fake, I'm not sure.

Once there, Elizabeth is welcomed by the Mother Superior and told that she will have access to all their books and rituals in order to prove that they are worthy of receiving further money. They assign a novice, Sarah to help her and guide her around. Then the nuns promptly try to murder her on multiple occasions. They never said she couldn't look around and they never tried to stop her. They simply go from Hello to Murder just like that.

There seems to be a monster trapped under the monastery and the nuns are fond of performing rituals on the beach, on the cliffs and in the catacombs, but we never find out why. Is it an obscure version of Orthodox Christianity, some way to subdue and contain the beast? We're never told.

The plot unravels and Elizabeth discovers a bunch of things while dodging murderous nuns, culminating in some form of climax leading to an unsatisfying ending. I'm all for not having the plot spoon fed to me and I don't need closure on every little thing, but a movie should probably try to explain something at the very least. Dark Waters apparently disagrees.

So if this is the bad part of the movie, what is the good part? The visuals!

Dark Waters is crystallized style over substance. The story is bland and uninteresting, yes, but the visuals from start to finish are incredible. In the beginning, the bus she travels on drives down a seemingly endless road bisecting empty fields. The road is studded on both sides by power lines whose poles mimic the long crosses the nuns carry, creating a foreboding religious vista as the sun sets and a storm rolls in. Scene after scene of rituals, crumbling corridors, a beach covered in dead fish, grim dreams and flashbacks weave together into an amazing visual feast that are well worth the tedious plot.

Do I recommend this movie? Yes, to horror fans I do. It's little wonder that I remembered so little as the movie as such is forgettable but the visuals are a blood-spattered and gruesome joy. Non horror fans should probably avoid it as there is nothing for them here.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!

A movie called Zeder

 I got recommended a horror movie called Zeder (1983) so I watched it and now we're talking about it.

Back in 2016 I wrote about The House with Laughing Windows by Pupi Avati and it so happens that seven years later he made Zeder. Zeder was released in the U.S. as Revenge of the Dead which is frankly a ridiculous title, designed to ride high on the popularity of the zombie genre which was running hot at the time. This is not a zombie movie.

After a somewhat baffling but interesting intro, we are introduced to Stefano, a struggling novelist who gets an unusual typewriter from his wife as an anniversary present. When it jams he discovers that the ribbon has some fascinating text on it and he eagerly transcribes it. It seems to speak of an experiment to raise the dead by burying them in special places full of spiritual energy called K-Zones. Stefano becomes obsessed with finding out more and goes on the hunt.

To go deeper we need to split the movie into two parts, what Stefano knows and what we know. Stefano spends most of his time talking to people; professors, priests, old ladies etc. and as he gets gradually closer to the goal, tensions rise.

What he doesn't really know but we find out is that there is a sort of conspiracy surrounding the K-Zone theory. It seems to be mostly academics but there are others involved from the church, the police and others and they are willing to kill to preserve their secret. It's interesting to see Stefano stumble deeper into the web without really realizing it. Ultimately it all comes to a head, except it sort of doesn't.

MILD SPOILERS AHEAD

As is normal in a movie with this kind of conspiracy, Stefano unwittingly talks to members of said conspiracy so they are aware of his sleuthing, but even though they decide he knows too much and want to kill him, they really don't. The amount of people he knows that are involved in this plot is also ridiculous. Towards the end, it seems like everyone except his wife and four other people are involved which becomes pretty silly. Sometimes less is more.

SPOILERS END

The first half of the movie is really good. The typewriter idea is inspired and the mystery is tantalizing and you get a feeling of really wanting to know more. The other half however is pretty weak. You discover things that don't really have much of an impact, the conspiracy itself sort of goes nowhere with no real involvement, it's all kind of rushed and half-arsed. As an example, Stefano is investigating in an underground vault in a cemetery when someone locks him in. And then someone lets him out again. Nothing happened, he never questions it and it never comes up again. Weird and pretty pointless.

For this story to really work it needs more time. You see members of the conspiracy but you don't learn of their motivations, their organization or their capabilities. They just do what they want to and stuff happens. The ending also leaves some things hanging which is annoying. I'm alright with an ambiguous ending, but Zeder unfortunately leaves a lot of smaller threads unraveled.

From a technical point of view, Zeder is competent. The shots are very nice, the scenes atmospheric, the actors are solid and the music is excellent. What I didn't like is how abrupt the cuts are between scenes. People are having a conversation and they barely have time to finish a sentence before a new scene is slammed down in front of you. You expect a certain rhythm to this and Zeder just yanks you from one scene to the next. It's not a deal breaker but it is somewhat jarring.

Funnily enough, parts of the plot mirror elements in one of Stephen King's more famous works, but both that and Zeder came out in the same year, so it is likely a coincidence.

Do I recommend this movie? Yes, for all its sins. Zeder is a solid horror movie with some really cool ideas. The second half is a let down, but they do enough to get the job done, even though they lose points. Any horror fan ought to watch it the one time. If I seem conflicted it's because I liked it and I wish it was better, the story deserves that.

That's that and all that. Join me again next time and until then, have a great and safe week!